Life With Constant Pain At 15

Pain?

What is pain?

Is it a feeling or a thought? Dose it exist if you can’t see the pain?

I am in pain every day of my life for nearly 4 years, although it isn’t as visible as a broken arm or leg, that doesn’t mean it’s non-existing. In those 4 years I spend the first year ignoring the pain, i acted as if it wasnt there until it got to a point where hiding it wasnt an option. The following 2 years i spent in pain and very unhappy, i spent most of my time at doctors and hospital appointments and they all told me they couldn’t see a problem and said it was just anxiety. With all the pain and appointments i missed a lot of school, everyday i would have to go in and explain myself to the principles, teachers and students and for what? them to all turn around and tell me i was lying? i was never in pain or suffered in any way, to them i didn’t want to go to school and all my pains were a joke and not real. They would ask why weren’t you in? id reply i was sick, ahh yeah “sick”. These were people i called my friends, but they weren’t really, they were only friends so they would have someone to sit with at lunch or go to town with, they never really cared. I once went to my school office 3 times in one day asking to call my Mam to go home and they wouldn’t let me, i was crying in the bathroom in so much pain calling my Mam off my own phone and within seconds no joke my mam and dad were there and when she arrived the principal was nowhere to be seen. The school would compare me to others with sickness saying they had it worse than me and they never knew anything about me or my pain yet they could tell me someone had it worse than me. They couldn’t feel or see my pain which made them believe it wasnt there and it wasnt real but it was very much real.

I spend every second of everyday in pain, yes it affects my life but that doesn’t mean i cant do anything with it. Every day the pain in there just some days it’s very faded and others it unbearable. One day i could run for hours then the next i could be crying and not able to move from my bed, but like everything you’ve the good and the bad days. Yes i may be able to do things, like travel and enjoy concerts because its stuff i love to do and I don’t give into the pain but some days it’s so bad I have to give in which has sometimes stopped me from going and doing the things I love, there is only so much your body can take.

Now I have yet to be diagnosed but the doctors are heading to me having Fibromyalgia like my mother.

There are many symptoms of Fibromyalgia  but here are some of the common symptoms..

  1. Pain & Tender Points.
  2. Fatigue.
  3. Sleeping Disorders.
  4. Concentration Problems.
  5. Memory Problems.
  6. Anxiety.
  7. Depression.
  8. Morning Stiffness.
  9. Chronic Headaches.
  10. Numbness.
  11. Tingling In Hands, Arms, Legs & Feet.
  12. Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
  13. Problems With Peeing.
  14. Painful Menstrual Cramps.
  15. Dizziness.
  16. Twitches.
  17. Vision Problems.
  18. Joint Of Jaw Disjunction.
  19. Nausea.
  20. Various Skin Complaints.
  21. Chest Pains.
  22. Mood Swings.
  23. Bloating.
  24. Restless Legs.
  25. Dysmenorrhea.
  26. Exhaustion.
  27. Sensitivity To Light & Noise.
  28. Difficulty To Speak.
  29. Achy Bones.
  30. Weakness.
  31. Nose Bleeds.
  32. Neck & Shoulder Pain.
  33. Sensory Sensitive.
  34. Gluten & Yeast Intolerance.
  35. Weight Gain.
  36. Multiple Chemical Sensitivity.
  37. Cold Symptoms.

me a 15 year old has 32 out 37 of the symptoms I listed.

 

Lady Gaga, its amazing how she dances and get on stage and doesn’t stop doing what she loves because of her pains. She is and always will be an inspiration.

 

And for the 4th year of me being in pain, I left school, started homeschooling and my journey of blogging, ive cut all the negative people out of my life, doing what I wanna do regardless of what others think, all thanks to my Mam & Dad and i couldn’t be happier.

 

if you’d like me to go in more detail of anything I spoke about please let me know!

 

thank you for reading,

becca xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

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